This carnival would not have been possible without the emails full of links, wonderfulness, and support from Lina, and the submissions of many other bloggers whose writing is what keeps things like this alive.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a prompt about freedom and autonomy, hoping to loosely structure this leg of the carnival around those themes. I found that, and so much more; I've opened my eyes to more permutations of what it means to be free, to have freedom, than I ever thought possible. Thank you to all of those who write; whether it is about sex work, sexuality, feminism, submission, or simply living and breathing as a woman in this world. Thank you for continuing to make your voices heard. I have decided to structure the carnival around freedom and autonomy as examined through the issues of silence, media, submission, and sex.
Silence
This carnival would not be complete without acknowledging the few controversies that have taken place over the last several weeks, resulting in the silencing of much needed voices. Although not all of these have a direct bearing on writing and thinking on sexuality, any and all forms of silencing do affect every single woman who writes and thinks aloud on issues affecting women.
First, I want to acknowledge the silencing of Brownfemipower, which brought everyone's attention to the necessity of intellectual honesty. We do not live in vaccuums; our ideas and thoughts are built upon and inspired by the work of others.
I also want to acknowledge the general silencing of women of color in mainstream feminism, as the recent issue with publication brought to light.
I also want to acknowledge the silencing that sex workers and sex work advocates face, particularly in the case of the recent controversy surrounding Renegade Evolution and the forum at William and Mary. Galling Galla asks the important question, "Exactly who is feminism for, anyway?" and Amber Rhea faces the fact that some women are more equal than others.
Media
These direct cases of silencing bring to light the problem faced by many groups, particularly sex workers and rights advocates, when represented in the media. In "'Experts' and Other Johns," William Rockwell confronts the selective use of quotes by those involved in sex work to support agendas that marginalize entire groups of sex workers.
Jill Brenneman discusses the media's selective painting of sex workers who advocate rights as those who "both have not suffered violence but also are rich, affluent, spoiled brats making way too much money or in denial about what we have and do deal with and suffer" in Sex Workers Against Rape.
I am the one in six childhood abuse survivors, I suffered violence in the sex industry, BUT, I advocate sex worker rights. I do it by choice, I am aware of the various other ideologies, I’m not brainwashed by some monolithic pro porn movement as critics charge, I’m not rich, I live paycheck to paycheck, worry about bills, am happy when I come home from work and the dog hasn’t gone potty on the floor, in other words I’m human. Just like 20/20’s viewers. I don’t want to be glamorized, pitied, studied, or rescued. I left the sex industry in 1995 because I chose to. Not because I was running from it, not to beat an addiction, but because I wanted to do something else. The same reason I have left many other jobs. The same reason others leave their jobs.
When I did need help, when I was facing violence and coercion in the sex industry, none of the current anti trafficking measures would have applied or helped, I couldn’t go the cops or the justice system because in the US being a prostitute is illegal....
In "
Why should sex workers talk to the media?" Audacia Ray discusses some of the issues facing sex workers who are approached to do appearances, and the dangers they face in having their stories publicized and their comments often appropriated for sensationalism.
In "
Do we need more sex writers?" Lux Alptraum of Boinkology explores what it means to be a sex writer and the issue of expanding our definition of sex in order to make sex writing more diverse.
In "
The exploitation of Sufiah Yousof," Natalia Antonova discusses the oversimplification of making sex workers' stories fit into the paradigm of good girls gone bad.
Let me state this loud and clear: a woman’s sexuality is not public property. What she chooses to do with it is between herself and God, if she believes in God, that is.
Using another person’s private life as a chance to score a cheap point about “the loose morals of today” or what have you is, at the very best, cruel.
In "New York Times exoticizes Asian women of color sexuality," Bint Alshamsa brings to light the differences of depiction between virginal white women and sexualized Asian women.
My biggest issue with this article is how Fredell is cast as this intellectual and intelligent woman with very nuanced views. Patterson explores how Fredell bases her abstinence stance on a combination of religious, philosophical, and feminist ideas. And how is Chen described?
"PERHAPS NO ONE at Harvard represents the hookup culture better than Lena Chen, a student sex blogger..."
Can it get any more one-dimensional that this depiction?
In "
Once a stripper, always a stripper," the Lizard Queen problematizes the depiction of former sex workers in the media, when the story has nothing to do with their job as a sex worker, as compared to those who have held other jobs in the past.
In "
Misnomers: Prostitution," the Sex Work 101 blog (edited by Audacia Ray) examines some of the language used in mainstream media to talk about sex workers.
In "
The New York Times sets it straight," Chris looks at the handling of errors in the NYT's coverage of sex workers.
In "
Because I think it's important..." Renegade Evolution discusses the problems of a media that chooses only to report anti-sex work experts.
Has the media or the government called on the head of ISWFACE, UBUNTU, SWOP, AIM, COYOTE, HIPS or any other person working in sex worker outreach- possibly as a current or former sex worker, to hear their thoughts on the matter? To consult their expert opinions or experiences? No, they haven’t. The media only wants to talk to sex workers to find out all the salacious details about the business when politicians get busted. Has the media or the government bothered to talk to Swedish sex workers, to hear their stories about how the adored and vaunted Swedish model has actually affected the industry? No, they haven’t.
In "
Virginia teen censored for nude self portrait," Lux Alptraum of Boinkology questions why even mild artistic nudity is so often conflated with overt, explicit depictions of sex: "The human body is a beautiful thing — unless, apparently, you’re seventeen and painting a nude self portrait, in which case it’s dirty, wrong, and bad."
In "
Abortion art project really a 'creative fiction'," Ann of Feministing looks at the recent controversy surrounding Yale student Alicia Shvarts' artwork, which raises questions not only about the meaning of art but about the meaning of abortion, and, as raised by Shvarts herself, the meaning of the body and its uses.
In "
Hummm..." and "
An update on Alex and the Cuttin' Up Hookers t-shirts" by Renegade Evolution, as well as "
Laugh, clown! LAUGH GODDAMMIT," by Belledame, the controversy over t-shirts that make fun of violence against sex workers brings up the issue of the dehumanization and disembodiment of sex workers, and of women in general, and its harms.
And in "
Gives good headline: how the media loves its sex changes," dentedbluemercedes confronts the issues surrounding media depiction of transgender people and the problem of gaining recognition in a world where transgender people are still openly ridiculed and such ridicule is considered acceptable.
And of course, there’s so many people that you can’t pick on, anymore. You can’t make a bogeyman out of someone because of their race or because they’re female or because they’re handicapped — you can’t even make them sound like their existence is a danger to society because of their sexual orientation, either… unless yours is a religious press.
Transgender people are another matter entirely, and it is still socially acceptable to ridicule, insult, deride and speak epithets about anyone who doesn’t fit strict “male” and “female” gender stereotypes.
Submission
I chose to focus on submission in this edition of the carnival, and not BDSM as a whole, because I think the particular experiences faced by those who submit speak specifically to carving out freedom and autonomy in the world of not only sexuality, but also our relationships - with others and ourselves.
In "A mishmash of thoughts on labels, submission, and liberation," I look at my own understanding of what it means to submit as well as what it means to be liberated, and how these two are often connected.
I don't feel like my choices should be held up as an ideal for liberation, if that makes any sense; I struggle with the idea that we (those of us who worry about the experiences of women) are working towards some grand image of "women's liberation," because I have come to understand that, like everything, such liberation exists within contexts. I believe, a la Ann Cudd, that women's choices are invariably coerced, and I don't know what uncoerced choices would look like, and I agree that moving towards a future in which we are all able to assert our agency without worrying about such limitations is necessary.
But reaching this future is a messy, complex road of smaller liberations, of lives lived in an attempt for women to liberate and empower themselves.
In "Feminism and submission," the Kinky Librarian, Nadia West, discusses her own feelings about what it means to be a feminist who submits, and most interestingly in my opinion, whether feminists have a responsibility to exercise their autonomy, and if doing so is necessary to be good role models in the area of sexuality.
Feminism and submission. I've talked about these two things before and I'm sure combined it's a topic I'll visit time and time again. I struggle with it, but not in the way that I find the two mutually exclusive. I don't and I am comfortable with the fact that I'm a submissive feminist. However, I do wonder about how to explain this to the world. While I feel comfortable with both aspects of my personality, I don't know how to explain why I'm comfortable.
In "Yeah? Well, my power's got balls," and "Category airing," Dw3t-Hthr of Letters from Gehenna questions the gender binaries and stereotypes associated with domination and submission.
I am not a female submissive.
I am a woman. I am submissive.
Spotting the difference matters....
The thing is, these things aren't descriptive to me, stuff like "M/f" or "F/m"; they don't seem to describe systems where those just happen to be the relationships those people have, but rather something where it is important that The Person Of One Sex Is Dominant, and The Person Of The Other Sex Is Submissive. It's a particular gendering fetish, and it's not one that I share; it's not one I want to be involved with, either. ("Your kink may be okay, but I'll go over there now.")
In "Female submission," Devastating Yet Inconsequential probes, with interesting results, the problematics of the instictive stereotypes that even those of us sensitive to the layers of understanding of BDSM as well as of feminism and autonomy can often experience.
Did feminism imbue me with some kind of resistance to signs of patriarchy, and that’s what I’m applying (in my limited way) that makes me balk at men dominating women? Or is my prejudice against this actually a sign of disrespect for the autonomy of women - a kind of pre-conscious belief that women can’t decide, aren’t sexual, or are intrinsically shaped and ruled by their male partners?
What is this? Do I think women are too delicate? Non-sexual? Unassertive? It’s always the man’s job to be smart, aware, and take care of the woman?
Am I a feminist or a misogynist?
In "People who really should know better," Zula of A Submissive With Claws discusses the problems with trying to constantly categorize dominance and submission as expressions of women's oppression.
So if a guy's a Dom, he's exercising male privilege by subjugating poor sub women like me, but if a guy's a sub, he's exercising male privilege by indulging in fantasies of subjugation (that for some reason women like me are incapable of)?
In "As much as I've learned about D/s," Trinity of the strangest alchemy discusses the complexity of reasons for rituals and of the drives behind submission, and in "Confession," she discusses the question of what BDSM means to those who have left it and who have been damaged by it, versus what it means to those of us who still find fulfillment in it.
So my question is, really: How can we stand up for ourselves as worthy people making a worthy and personal choice to do SM, D/s, B&D, whatever -- while still honoring those abuse stories and the fear they speak to?
Sex
This final section is a collection of articles relating to sex, sexuality, sex work, advocacy, and sex writing; they don't necessarily relate to the same thing, but are full of necessary observations about how autonomy and freedom relate to sex, and how all of these issues play out in our lives.
First, articles highlighting Sex 2.0, the convention on feminism, media, and sexuality held in Atlanta on April 12th: the About.com interview of organizer Amber Rhea; "That's a Wrap" by Mistress Maeve; "Sex 2.0, the Awesome and the Suck" by Renegade Evolution; and "This weekend: Sex 2.0 in Atlanta" by Viviane's Sex Carnival.
In "WTF is feminist pr0n?!" Violet Blue investigates the supposedly oxymoronic idea that yes, feminists are actually making and enjoying pornography.
And in "In defence of raunch feminism," Lindsay of Miss Nomered also questions the idea that pornography must be in conflict with feminism, and the implications of such a judgment.
And whether the debate surrounds porn, sex work, or a woman simply wearing a low-cut top, the same word keeps popping up from a lot of feminists.
Victim.
As in, “women who are in porn are victims of the patriarchy”. Or “Sex workers are victims of exploitation”. And if someone points to organizations like the Sex Professionals of Canada or Scarlet Alliance or Empower, people concede, “Well, there are some who choose to do that, but they’re in the tiny minority”.
It’s true that a number of women (and men) are coerced into sex work. But the assumption that seems to come up over and over again, at least the way I see it, is this: women do not have the power to consent to sex work.
And this seems to be coming from a blatantly sexist assumption - women are too weak, or too stupid, or too easily controlled to be able to make such choices for themseleves.
In "But are you positive?" Figleaf questions some of our assumptions about sex positivity, what it means to be sex positive or sex negative, and who we classify as such.
In "Free porn, a nightmare," the Blowfish Blog contests the idea that free porn is always a welcome thing.
In "101 things people say when you tell them you're a stripper," Tara of Hobo Stripper humorously examines some of the assumptions about stripping that sex workers face.
Some people will look a little shocked for a second and then tell me that it’s okay. Like, “oh! Well. That’s… okay. I guess.” Really? Are you sure? Cause you know I could never live without the random approval of some stranger. Older men are usually conditional with their approval. As in, “well, I guess that’s okay. As long as you’re being smart and saving money and not doing drugs.” I like how they think it’s any of their business, and sometimes I’ll ask them if they do their money, and if they find it hard, as an investment banker, to resist drugs?
In "I have a physical disability," a letter published by the online project Letters from Johns, a man who visits sex workers discusses how doing so changed his life. This particular article deeply touched me; I also have cerebral palsy (although to a much milder extent) and am physically disabled for other reasons. The difficulties disabled people face in our everyday lives are all too often minimized, and sexuality, being something that's generally considered inappropriate for polite conversation to begin with, is even more swept under the rug when it comes to disabled people. To see a man who is disabled speaking out about his sexuality is heartening in and of itself.
It was the most enjoyable experience I have ever had in my life. I would put it down to two things. For once I had gained control over my body, and it felt like I was in control of my life. The worst thing about having a physical disability is the lack of control I have in life. Everything is very clinical, get up at this time, eat at this time, have a shower at this time, and go to bed at this time. I have no control over these things. This time, I got to do things on my own terms. Second, it was the first time I felt like I was being treated like a sexual being with desires and needs that were important. All my life I have been viewed as an asexual being whose desires should be avoided or neglected. The trip to the brothel taught me not to be afraid of my sexuality and not to push it into the background. (emphasis mine)
In "When is it okay for faculty and students to be sexual in the same place?" Elizabeth of Sex in the Public Square brings up the myriad issues surrounding speaking out about sexuality for those involved in academia in her discussion of the case of Lisa Chavez. Sex in the Public Square continues coverage of this case in "Lisa Chavez speaks out," "Another important voice," and "Conflict and responsibility."
In "Sex, lies, and contraception: the male pill," Greta Christina discusses the gendering of contraceptive issues and the fact that men face many of the same concerns that women do; as such, the arguments that male contraception would have a small market are unfounded.
And in "Lesbian sex with men," Greta Christina discusses the awkwardness and difficulty both men and women face in the reductionist definition of sex as an erect member entering a hole.
An awful lot of people, of all genders and orientations, would benefit from the kind of sex that lesbians take as a given. The kind of sex where success isn't overwhelmingly defined by one partner's "performance." The kind of sex that doesn't make a sharp distinction between "foreplay" and "sex," and that doesn't have a strong opinion about which has to happen first. The kind of sex where the journey is the destination.
Finally, in "Whores & other mercenaries," Renegade Evolution discusses...well, the article speaks for itself, really.
I mean, for fucksake, I can sell my hair, sell my blood, donate a kidney, sell my eggs, rent out my womb as a surrogate, sell my mind, sell my social skills, even more or less sell a child via private adoption. I can get tattoos, body modifications, an abortion, hang myself from hooks in fetish scenes, engage in extreme sports, jump out of an airplane, scuba dive in shark infested waters, hunt big game, get extensive plastic surgery, sign on to test various medications and vaccinations. I can fuck for fun, or fuck and get other consideration for it; cars, a roof over my head, jewelry, nice dinners, clothing, other assorted gifts. I can fuck to get my rent and bills paid, so long as the transaction is not from a guy directly to me right before the act occurs (some people call this marriage, dating, being a mistress, or a kept woman). Hell, even though it is technically illegal…I could blow my own head off. After all, hard to prosecute the dead, and really, when was the last time you ever heard of someone who attempted suicide being charged and prosecuted for it?
But legally, I cannot fuck for actual money, as a business transaction, between two adults. This is utterly asinine in my mind. I can do countless other things to and with my body, I can fuck at will for countless other reasons…but the second money is exchanged solely for penetration of my mouth, vagina, or anus…without legal forms and a camera in the room…it is illegal....
I of course find this a little amusing. Trading in death, war and violence? Totally legal! Trading in sex? Woooo, criminal!
And Rebecca of Burning Words touches on one of the failings of the anti-sex work camp in "
It's. Not. About. You."
For all the words and time and energy spent on trying to save people from the sex industry, these folks generally seem to have very little ability to try and envision themselves being put in the shoes of those that they’re proposing to save. Women in the sex industry, to the likes of many of these folks, are a moral dilemma, a political problem: what they are not seen as, at least in more than a superficial sense, is people. That’s a horrifyingly privileged position to be coming from, and I think it’s why the ultimate product of that mindset is such ineffective and downright harmful social policy.
For so many of the Jensens and the MacKinnon’s of the world, it seems as if sex work can only ever be conceived of as a moral dilemma, a political problem, rather than one rooted firmly in the actual lives of those who, for whatever reason, are actually involved in that business. I see this in the tendency of many of these folk to repeatedly reframe sex workers’ rights arguments as being about it all supposedly being “empowering”, thus allowing it to fit into some sex work good/sex work bad narrative.
And in "
An open letter," Lina of Uncool discusses some of the problems with engagement, or a lack thereof, of the arguments of pro- and anti-sex work advocacy.
As for me? Well, I think it's disturbing that you wish to keep prostitution illegal. That sex workers' profession remains illegal reflects and perpetuates at once society's condemnation of such work. It keeps alive the hateful attitude of the scum that abuse prostitutes by providing legal justification. It remains an activity frowned upon by society, men are ashamed of seeing prostitutes and some are resentful of that. How do they react? By abusing the women. And as for the women, hell, the hatred you show some of them in Blogland - I just hope to hell you treat the sex workers you encounter in real life with a little bit more respect. I hope your attitude that they should be ashamed of themselves doesn't show when you are dealing with them. Jesus fucking Christ - if I was a prostitute desperately wanting to get out of the game, would I turn to you knowing the attitude you and those you associate yourselves with show sex workers?....
There is, of course, evidence and philosophy that backs up your arguments and contradicts mine. The difference is, I'm prepared to engage with them.
Finally
Please don't forget about the Feminism for Freaks Call for Papers!
I hope everyone has enjoyed the second Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy. I really enjoyed putting it together and reading some of the best writing available on these issues. For those who submitted articles to be included, thank you for supporting the carnival, and for those who did not but whose writing I found it beneficial to include, I hope I did not in any way misrepresent your words or intentions. Insha'Allah open discussion about these issues will be beneficial to all of us.
The next edition of the Carnival will be hosted at the Jaded Hippy on May 12, 2008.
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